MSS #100: From Work Mode to Home Mode: Mastering Identity Shifts for Wellbeing

MSS #100: From Work Mode to Home Mode: Mastering Identity Shifts for Wellbeing

7 Dec, 2024

🕒Read time: 3.2 minutes

🚀In a hurry? Cut straight to the heading “Practical Steps to Shift Between Identities” - reduced read time 1.5 minutes

We tend to assign ourselves an identity we relate closely to.

There’s a risk in getting too tied to a single identity, especially when that identity is anchored to our work.

In roles where performance and outcomes are scrutinised, like sales or leadership, it’s easy to feel that success at work equals personal worth.

But when setbacks come, as they inevitably do, over-identifying with work can take a toll on our mental wellbeing.

Let’s explore how to detach from a fixed identity and why switching between different role identities in life can make us more resilient, adaptable and even happier.

We’ll talk science, practical tips and how to slip out of your work identity without feeling like you’re leaving part of yourself behind.

The Problem with One Identity

Our identity shapes how we see ourselves and it’s natural for our professional roles to become a dominant part of that picture.

But research shows that relying on just one area of life for self-worth can leave us vulnerable to stress and anxiety. Which makes a lot of sense, but in the hustle and bustle of life, it’s not something we stop to think about – until now!

Essentially limiting our self-image to one dimension runs a risk. When that one area—like work—isn’t going smoothly, it can feel as if we’ve lost part of ourselves​​.

Also we may not want our “work head” at home or in other areas of our life.

Thirdly, its good to get a break from our work mind, so we can truly switch off and re-energise.

People with multiple identities are shown to be more resilient, adapting better when life throws a curveball.

Studies reveal that maintaining several roles helps cushion us against setbacks in any one of them.

If work doesn’t go as planned, we can still find stability in our roles as a partner, a friend, a learner, or even an adventurer.

Embracing the idea that we are many things—without relying too heavily on any one of them—can help us navigate challenges without feeling that our personal value is at stake​.

Practical Steps to Shift Between Identities

When we actively manage our different roles, it primes the brain to step into each one without carrying the weight of another.

Here’s how to start building a healthier, more flexible identity structure.

1. Visualise Identities as Coats You Can Take On and Off
Picture each identity you hold—professional, friend, parent, hobbyist—as a distinct coat.

You wouldn’t wear a heavy winter coat in summer, so think of slipping into the “right” identity for each situation.

When it’s time to be “off the clock,” visualise taking off the work coat and putting on one that better suits your role at home or with friends.

This mental habit can signal to your mind that work can wait until you “put the coat back on.”

Two alternative ways of thinking of this are,

• Different “Hat" Approach Think of this as wearing one "hat" or switching between multiple "hats."

• “Work” vs. “I’m Off Duty” Mindset - you may find it easier to think of a mindset shift, from “work” to “off duty”.

2. Create Physical Cues
When it’s time to transition between roles, use simple cues like changing into a different outfit, turning off work notifications, or shifting your physical environment.

These small acts, over time, help reinforce that one role is ending and another is beginning.

The Reticular Activating System (RAS)—the part of your brain that directs focus—will start to recognise these shifts, making it easier to move from work mode to home mode.

A simple cue I have used is using my front door or the locking of my car, as a clear indication I am now changing role from work to home role.

3. Commit to Other Identities
It’s easy to say you’re more than your work, but actively committing to other identities ensures that each gets the attention it needs.

Carve out time for a hobby or take on a role in your community that lets you see yourself in a different light.

By investing in different parts of ourselves, we build a more balanced sense of self-worth.

4. Practise Self-Compassion
When work gets challenging, it’s common to get caught in self-criticism.

Instead, try detaching a bit by reminding yourself that this is just one role you play.

When setbacks happen, view them through the lens of your professional role, but don’t let them define your self-worth.

Practising self-compassion can help your mind step back, look at the situation objectively, and keep challenges from clouding your personal perspective.

Summary

Switching between multiple identities isn’t just healthy; it’s essential.

By consciously building other roles into our lives, we avoid the trap of tying our worth to a single area.

Our work is only part of who we are.

Remember to approach each role as a unique piece of a greater whole, shifting between them as needed to stay balanced, resilient, and grounded.

• Over-attaching to a single role can make us more vulnerable to stress.

• Role-switching is a natural, research-backed way to boost resilience.

• The Reticular Activating System (RAS) helps the brain shift focus, making it easier to move between roles.

• Practical steps include creating physical cues, visualising identities as “coats,” and investing in other parts of your life.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.