MSS #093: The Hidden Cost of Chasing Stability – Embrace Change and Find Relief

MSS #093: The Hidden Cost of Chasing Stability – Embrace Change and Find Relief

19 Oct, 2024

🕒Read time: 3.3 minutes

🚀In a hurry? Cut straight to the heading “Steps to Embrace Change as Normal” - reduced read time 1.4 minutes

We often long for stability, believing it’s the key to a peaceful life.

But chasing stability can be more draining than we realise.

This week, we’ll explore the hidden cost of clinging to stability and how embracing change as a constant in life can lead to greater freedom and resilience.

We will examine how to accept life’s natural flow, cherish moments of calm and stop resisting the inevitable.

The Reality of Change

In general we tend to view change as an unwelcome interruption in the flow of life, as if stability were the norm. Though it’s true to say many enjoy and embrace change, while others find change deeply uncomfortable - often it depends what aspect of our lives change impacts.

However, the truth is that life is constantly shifting.

Change is the natural state of things.

When we stop expecting stability to be permanent, we free ourselves from the stress of being caught off guard when things shift again.

Rather than seeing change as an obstacle, we can view it as the baseline.

From this viewpoint, stability becomes a rare, beautiful moment to cherish, not the goal to endlessly pursue.

Accepting this mindset can reduce anxiety, conserve energy and help us feel more balanced in the face of life’s inevitable fluctuations.

Why Stability is the Exception, Not the Rule

Many of us strive for a life where things stay calm and predictable but in reality, stability is fleeting.

It’s those moments of stillness that are the exceptions, not the rule.

• Change is Constant: Life is fluid, always moving and evolving.

• Stability is Fleeting: The periods of calm we experience are rare and temporary.

• Resisting Change Drains Energy: When we waste time wishing for things to stay the same, we lose focus on how to adapt and thrive.

Instead of expending energy trying to keep things the same, what if we embraced change as the default and see stability as a pleasant, yet temporary, gift.

It’s purely a mindset change, but one we can choose and control.

The Freedom in Accepting Change

When we accept that change is the constant, life becomes less of a struggle.

We stop waiting for things to “settle down” or get back to “normal” because we understand that flux is the real normal.

This acceptance brings a profound sense of freedom and releases us from the cycle of frustration and resistance.

• Peace in the Unpredictable: Once we accept change as normal, the unpredictability of life no longer feels like a threat.

• Energy Conservation: Instead of resisting the inevitable, we can conserve our energy for more productive things, like adapting and growing.

• Moments of Stability Become Treasures: When we stop expecting stability, we cherish the moments of calm we do experience.

Steps to Embrace Change as Normal

Here’s how you can start seeing change as the constant and stability as a gift:

1. Accept Change as Inevitable:

The first step is simply acknowledging that change is a natural part of life.

If you notice yourself railing against change, acknowledge that and consider, thinking of this as normal now.

Remind yourself that everything is in flux and that’s okay.

2. Be Present in Moments of Stability:

When you do experience moments of calm or stability, be fully present in them.

Enjoy them as gifts, not as the norm and avoid the trap of wishing they would last forever.

I notice moments of normality far more now and make a point of consciously enjoying them, pulling my think out of the daily autopilot of doing and simply stopping to enjoy. I often find myself smiling in those moments - the simplest of things like enjoying having our family cat sat asleep on my lap, noticing her purr vibrate. And if I am in the garden, also noticing the sun’s warmth on my face.

3. Let Go of the Past:

Clinging to what used to be can prevent you from fully engaging with the present.

Practice letting go of what no longer serves you, trusting that new opportunities will arise in the flow of change.

We know the past and future do not exist, they are “concepts” in our minds. Yet we spend so much time in simulations of the past and future in our minds, it feels, looks and sounds very real. That’s how our minds work.

When we spend time in our minds harping back to some “better” time in the past we deny ourselves the chance to enjoy properly what we are doing now, as our minds are stuck in the past in the 3D simulator of our minds.

4. Build Resilience Through Adaptation:

Rather than resisting or fearing change, focus on building resilience.

Develop skills that help you adapt and thrive, no matter what life throws at you.

I call in “bounceability” something I share in my workshops and coaching sessions. There is so much we can do using our minds in built capability to better equip ourselves to embrace change.

Summary

Change is the very fabric of life.

By accepting that flux is the natural state of things, we free ourselves from the exhausting cycle of resistance and embrace the unpredictability with grace.

Stability becomes a gift, not an expectation. With this mindset, we can conserve our energy, cherish moments of calm, and navigate the waves of life with resilience.

• Change is Normal: Life is always shifting; stability is the exception, not the rule.

• Let Go of Resistance: Resisting change only drains energy and slows our progress.

• Moments of Stability Are Gifts: Cherish them, but don’t expect them to last forever.

• Build Resilience: Adaptation and flexibility are key to thriving in a constantly changing world.

See you next week.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking