MSS #079: Shake Up Tough Meetings: 4 Powerful Steps for Better Outcomes

MSS #079: Shake Up Tough Meetings: 4 Powerful Steps for Better Outcomes

13 July, 2024

🕒Read time: 2.9 minutes

🚀In a hurry? Cut straight to the 2 tools read from heading “4 Steps to Shake Up Tough Meetings” - reduced read time 2.3 minutes

Got a meeting where everyone clashes? Nothing gets resolved or achieved. That’s draining and time-consuming. Are some parties too busy point-scoring?

Take four powerful steps to shake up tough meetings.

Why Do We Clash in Meetings?

There are several reasons people clash in meetings. One of the key ones is not understanding each other’s way of understanding the world.

There are two big areas in this topic that I cover in workshops and coaching.

I’m not covering those two areas today; this time we are going to cut to the chase with a method that takes very little effort and can cut through any meeting nonsense quite effectively. Ready to trust me on this?

We are creatures of habit, it’s very true.

In routine meetings, people tend to sit in the same places, reinforcing the same behaviours and outcomes.

This predictability can lead to stagnant discussions and entrenched positions.

Breaking these patterns can be the key to more dynamic and fruitful meetings.

4 Steps to Shake Up Tough Meetings

1. Start with the Usual Seating

Let everyone sit where they normally do. This step acknowledges the comfort zone of the participants and sets the stage for the upcoming change.

If it’s not a regular meeting, let people sit where they want, but then move to stage 2 if you find there is friction or stagnation on a specific issue, that you want to get resolved or everyone to take action on.

2. Invite Participants to Move

Once everyone is seated, ask them to change seats. Be strategic in your approach:

• Swap Seats of Those Who Clash: Have individuals who frequently clash swap their seats directly.

• In Negotiations: Get everyone from each company or side to swap seats.

• Different Departments: Encourage members of different departments to swap seats with each other.

This physical change in environment can help participants see things from a new perspective.

It’s interesting that people associate their physical space with their views and position, its to do with how our mind’s map our reality.

3. Facilitate Direct Swaps by title / status

For an even more effective approach, ask participants of the same title or status to swap seats. This can help break down hierarchical or departmental barriers and foster more open communication.

4. Start the Meeting

Begin the meeting with everyone in their new seats. This change can make participants slightly uncomfortable, but that’s the point. It encourages them to see, feel, and hear things from the perspective of their counterparts.

Why This Works

Changing seats disrupts habitual patterns and encourages fresh perspectives. Participants may feel slightly uncomfortable at first, but this discomfort can lead to greater empathy and understanding. By physically placing themselves in someone else’s position, they are more likely to listen and engage constructively.

Benefits Beyond the Meeting Room

This strategy isn’t just for work meetings. It can be equally effective in family discussions or any group setting where habitual behaviours lead to unproductive outcomes.

Give It a Try

Are you ready to transform your meetings?

Give these steps a try and observe the difference.

Remember to swap seats yourself to fully participate in the experience. You might be surprised at how such a simple change can lead to more productive and harmonious discussions.

I have done this so many times and always makes me smile how it turns out.

At first you get some strange looks and questions, but I still firmly insist, with no explanation as to why I am doing this.

The meeting then restarts and the ones that were most in disagreement start back up again to make their point, then hesitate and start second guessing themselves. Why because they are now considering more deeply the position of the person whose seat they are now in.

The person who swapped with them, picks up on this change that the other party is starting to understand them and cannot help mirroring this new understanding. And so, the ripple effect starts, you just need to nurture it till you get a new understanding and finally an outcome.

A step further

If you want to enhance this technique or have not got enough progress with the seat swap, try this;

s’t just for work meetings. It can be equally effective in family discussions or any group setting where habitual behaviours lead to unproductive outcomes. 

• In pairs, take those who have swapped seats and ask them “just imagine you are “Fred, Freda” then ask them any one of these questions

  • “what concerns do you think they might have?”

  • “what one thing might help them move forwards on this topic and reassure them?”

• In pairs again, ask them “what is one thing you really appreciate about person X or department Y.” This way you are moving them into a more constructive mindset.

Share Your Experience

Have you tried this approach?

I would love to hear about your experience.

Feel free to share your insights and outcomes in the comments at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Here’s a quick summary,

1. Let everyone sit where they always sit – for regular meetings.

   For new meetings, let participants sit where they want.

2.  Start the meeting as normal.

3. If / when you get to a point of stagnation or aggravation.

   Firmly invite everyone to stand and swap seats.

   Say it in a firm tone, where it’s not really an invitation, its an instruction said in a polite, no questions way.

   No justification should be given, even if asked for.

4. Get everyone to “swap” seats i.e.

   • If from different departments – get departments to swap.

   • If from different businesses – get opposite numbers from each business to swap e.g. finance for finance etc.

   • Get people of the same status to swap if from different departments, business etc.

   • If you have two people who are just getting each other wound up, get them to swap.

5. Restart the meeting.

6. Watch the magic happen.

7. Enjoy the results.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Other resources

If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques or take a look at my website.

Want to explore what else I do? Including corporate speaking, coaching and workshops, or simply ask me a question or give me feedback on my newsletter - say hello in an email.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.