MSS #077: RACE Through Setbacks: How to Ensure Setbacks Propel You Forwards

MSS #077: RACE Through Setbacks: How to Ensure Setbacks Propel You Forwards.

29 June, 2024

🕒Read time: 3.7 minutes

🚀In a hurry? Jump “RACE forward” - reduced read time 1.3 minutes

Welcome back to Saturday Solace.

This week, we're diving into a topic that affects us all: dealing with setbacks and disappointments.

We all encounter setbacks, but it's how we respond to them that shapes our future.

If you haven’t yet found a recipe for managing setbacks that you like, or if you want to give your current default response a review, take a peek at this.

The Setback Dilemma

Facing setbacks can feel overwhelming, like you're stuck in a rut with no way out.

Whether it's a missed opportunity, a failed project, or personal disappointment, these moments can shake our confidence and leave us questioning our path.

If we are pushing hard enough to learn and grow, disappointment will sometimes come to visit us, along with the knowledge that change is normal.

This is a big topic, we could discuss a lot around this, but I choose to keep it simple. Discover how much my approach will help you going forwards.

The RACE Approach

To navigate setbacks, I’ve developed a simple yet powerful approach: RACE.

1. Response is in Your Control

2. Acknowledge it

3. Consider What You Can Learn

4. Execute One Step Forward

Let's break down each step.

R: Response is in Your Control

Our initial reaction to setbacks is crucial. It's natural to feel frustrated or upset.

However well I have planned something, I recognise

• change is a constant – I choose not to be surprised that things will happen that I did not expect.

• I have a simple choice – as to how I RESPOND to disappointment.

Like so many things in our life, we have learnt responses to situations.

It maybe you already have developed a great response to setbacks. If not, the rest of this newsletter could be of value.

Our RESPONSE to a situation is the one thing we have full CONTROL over, which brings a level of control and stability. Nobody else, or nothing else chooses our response, only you.

It may not feel like you choose your response, if you allow your current default response to kick in, but you can change this.

So next time disappointment kicks in say to yourself,

• I choose my response.

• This is the anchor point of control for me.

• Choosing my response is the platform from which I will emerge.

Ask yourself: How can I respond constructively?

A: Acknowledge It

Facing the reality of a setback is the first step towards overcoming it. Denying or avoiding the issue only prolongs the struggle.

Accept what has happened and understand that setbacks are a natural part of life’s journey.

When we wish something had not happened, we put wasted energy into trying to change something that has happened. Rather than putting our energy into what next.

Acceptance is not about liking it or condoning a setback, it is simply saying,

“It’s happened, I may not like it, but it is here. I choose to put my energy and thoughts into what follows.”

A great approach, backed by the science of how our mind responds within a thinking and feeling loop – is to focus on the feelings you have.

Simply acknowledging how you feel, where you feel disappointment in your body and what it feels like is a very useful strategy.

Avoid placing your attention on thoughts associated with disappointment, place attention of the feelings.

Focus on feelings, breaks the thought, feeling loop that often leads to an ongoing feeling of disappointment.

C: Consider What You Can Learn

Assessing what you can learn from a situation does the following,

• Changes mindset into a positive.

• Gets us moving forwards again.

• Gives us a point of focus.

There are many questions you could ask yourself; my defaults tend to be.

• What insights can I gain from this experience?

• What does this experience equip me to do now, that otherwise I would not have known?

The last question gives a sense of meaning to whatever setback has occurred.

Both questions put you into a better mindset, simply by asking the questions.

I am not a fan of someone advising, “change your mindset to XYZ.” Talking to the rational part of the brain, at a moment when the irrational part of the brain is in charge, is not a winning strategy for me. Where as questions can achieve this mindset change for you.

E: Execute One Step Forward

Action is the antidote to despair.

Identify one simple, achievable step you can take to move forward.

This step doesn’t need to be monumental; it’s about regaining momentum.

It might be reaching out to a mentor, revising your plan, or simply taking a break to clear your mind.

RACE Forward

Let’s put the RACE approach into action with a real-life scenario.

Imagine you’ve missed an important deadline at work.

Instead of spiralling into panic, apply the RACE method:

1. Response: Remind yourself, your response is an absolute you have control over.

Choose to be focused.

Appreciate that while the situation is challenging and maybe unwelcome, you choose your response, no one or nothing else controls this.

2. Acknowledge: Accept that the deadline was missed.

Avoid blame, you may not like it, it’s happened. Own it and be honest with yourself and others.

Take some time to notice the feelings this creates, until those feelings subside.

Avoid thinking about the situation, focus purely on the feelings it creates.

3. Consider: Reflect on why the deadline was missed. Was it due to poor time management, lack of resources, or unexpected obstacles?

Identify the root cause.

Discover the learning, so you have now gained something.

Realise that without this setback you would not have developed a new approach to ensure this does not happen another time.

4. Execute: Plan your next step. Perhaps it’s rescheduling the task, communicating with your team for support, or reorganising your priorities.

Keep it to a simple next step.

Other actions may follow but focus on that first step for now.

By following these steps, you turn a setback into a learning opportunity and a chance to grow.

Setbacks are not roadblocks but detours that lead to new opportunities. Embrace the journey, with its ups and downs and use each experience to grow stronger and wiser.

What's Your Response?

I invite you to reflect on your recent setbacks. How can you apply the RACE approach to navigate through them?

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

See you next week for another dose of Saturday Solace!

In the meantime, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. What helps you turn setbacks into stepping stones?

Summary

Setbacks are inevitable, but they don’t have to derail you.

By controlling your response, acknowledging the issue, learning from it, and taking actionable steps forward, you can transform challenges into opportunities for growth.

Decide today to embrace the RACE approach and see how it changes your perspective on setbacks.

Celebrate your progress and that of those around you.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Other resources

If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques or take a look at my website.

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.