MSS #073: Go from “I have to” to “I get to” and Discover how it changes your life

MSS #073: Go from “I have to” to “I get to” and Discover how it changes your life.

1 June, 2024

🕒Read time: 3.0 minutes

🚀In a hurry? Cut straight to the heading “Let’s put it into Practice” - reduced read time 1.6 minutes

Our use of language is highly driven by habit, so much so we often are not truly aware of how we say something.

But how we say something can radically change how it makes us and sometimes others feel.

The simple observation of what I will share in this weeks newsletter, has the power to make a big difference in your wellbeing.

Ready to discover?

One word that makes a big difference.

Have you ever stopped to listen to the language you use, particularly when it comes to your daily tasks and routines?

The words we choose can have a surprising impact on our mindset, and ultimately, our happiness.

Those words may be spoken, or self talk, or both!

This week, we're exploring the transformative power of a simple shift in perspective: replacing "I have to" with "I get to."

These three little words pack a big punch.

"I have to" implies obligation, a burden we shoulder with a sigh. It paints a picture of tasks looming over us, draining our energy and motivation.

On the other hand, "I get to" whispers opportunity. It suggests a privilege, a chance to experience something positive.

Suddenly, that dreaded meeting becomes a chance to collaborate with your team, to bounce ideas around and learn from each other.

Working out isn't a chore, it's an opportunity to invest in your health and well-being, to feel strong and energised.

Reading a book transforms from a duty into a delightful escape, a chance to explore new worlds and expand your knowledge.

“I have to have meeting” changes to "𝙄 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢."

 "𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁" shifts to "𝙄 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝."

 "𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱" transforms into "𝙄 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙚𝙬."

Imagine the ripple effect this simple switch can have on your daily life. Opportunities that once seemed hidden begin to bloom.

Gratitude deepens as you appreciate the chance to experience these things. Your perspective changes entirely, reframing your perception of the world around you.

Reframing is used quite often, but for some not so easy to do, still grasping hold of a more negative connotation. This is so much simpler, because once you recognise the “have to” framework, it takes little effort to change to “get to” which opens up the changes to the rest of the sentence.

The beauty lies in the fact that this transformation is entirely within your control. It's a choice you can make, completely free of charge.

 It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, because of the familiar habit of “have to”. Stick with it and it will change how you feel and possibly those around you.

Let’s put it into practice.

So, take a moment to reflect on your day.

What tasks or activities are currently shrouded in the negativity of "have to"?

Can you reframe them with the empowering language of "get to"?

Here are a few domestic examples to get you started:

• "I have to clean the house" becomes "I get to create a calm and organised space for myself and my loved ones."

• "I have to run errands" becomes "I get to take care of the things I need and explore my neighbourhood."

• "I have to cook dinner" becomes "I get to nourish myself and my family with a delicious meal."

Remember, the power lies in your perspective. Choose "I get to" and watch your world transform.

Here are 10 work-based examples of changing "I have to..." to a more positive "I get to...":

1. "I have to give feedback" becomes "I get to help someone improve their skills." (Focuses on the positive impact)

2. "I have to answer emails" becomes "I get to connect with colleagues and keep projects moving forward." (Highlights collaboration and progress)

3. "I have to meet deadlines" becomes "I get to see my hard work come to fruition." (Emphasizes the satisfaction of completion)

4. "I have to travel for work" becomes "I get to explore new places and expand my professional network." (Focuses on learning and growth)

5. "I have to take on extra tasks" becomes "I get to challenge myself and develop new skills." (Highlights opportunity for development)

6. "I have to attend a training session" becomes "I get to learn new things and stay ahead of the curve." (Focuses on continuous learning)

7. "I have to generate new ideas" becomes "I get to contribute to creative solutions." (Highlights your value and voice)

8. "I have to write a report" becomes "I get to document my work and share my insights." (Focuses on the importance of your work)

9. "I have to follow up on tasks" becomes "I get to ensure projects stay on track and deliver results." (Highlights your contribution to success)

10."I have to attend a networking event" becomes "I get to connect with new people and build professional relationships." (Focuses on building a strong network)

What "I have to" will you turn into "I get to" today?

Share your experiences and reflections in the comments below!

Summary

Try this from now on,

1. Notice your words and language

2. Does your current choice of words empower you, demonstrate gratitude and possibilities OR does it hold you back, contribute to an unhelpful mindset and stifle joy?

3. Look out for “I have to” language sets.

4. Change anything you notice to “I get to”

5. In time it will becomes a new habit to notice “poor” language choices and change to better versions.

6. Look back in a few months on how different you feel and possibly those around you.

7. Enjoy!

See you next week. If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques.

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.