MSS #065: When I am having a really rough time, how do I make sense of it and move forward?

MSS #065: When I am having a really rough time, how do I make sense of it and move forward?

MSS #065: When I am having a really rough time, how do I make sense of it and move forward?

6 April, 2024

Read time: 3.7 minutes

🚀 In a hurry? Cut straight to “Questions for reflection” – Reduced read time: 1.1 minutes.

In the midst of life's storms, it's easy to feel trapped in the moment, unable to see beyond the challenges we face.

It’s a horrible place to find ourselves, so learning an approach we can use when in those moments that gives us,

1. A sense of purpose to this moment of suffering and

2. An effective “ladder” to climb up, out of the pit of despair is invaluable

This week’s newsletter is inspired by a question I ask myself and share with others, when in moments like this,

"What is this challenge equipping me to do in the future?"

This is my way of giving meaning to what is happening to me and of giving me a different mindset when in the eye of the storm.

Let’s explore this together a bit more.

Theme of the Day: Embracing Challenges for Future Growth

In times of adversity, it's natural to focus on the immediate struggle.

However, by shifting our perspective to consider how our current challenges can shape our future, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities for growth.

It gives our current difficult situation meaning, a sense of purpose, rather than just a horrible / unpleasant time to endure.

This way of thinking is a genuine way to change mindset. I am not a fan of people telling me what mindset I should adopt, with showing me how to do this, what follows is my how.

Questions for Reflection:

Firstly, when in a moment of despair, recognise and acknowledge it, rather than just keep struggling to get through it or wishing it was different.

Say to yourself something like this,

“Ok, it’s a bit sh*t right now, that’s unfortunate. I have a few choices I can either, shut down, carry on regardless – at the risk of getting fatigue, feel sorry for myself or change direction completely. I CHOOSE to change direction and search for the opportunities this current difficulty will create for me in the future.”

There are 2 important parts to this,

1. By acknowledging unpleasant times we stop putting so much energy into wishing it was different, which saps our energy and invites our Reticular Activating System (RAS) to remind us other times like this.

2. By acknowledging we have a choice as to how we respond, we give ourselves back a level of control over what is happening to us.

Now give yourself a moment, sit down and reflect on some or all these questions. Let, your mind wander a bit with the thought and reflection process and consider what answers you get.

1. How might overcoming this challenge contribute to my personal or professional development?

2. In what ways can I use this experience to build resilience and adaptability?

3. What skills or strengths am I developing, as I navigate through this difficult time?

4. How does this challenge align with my long-term goals or aspirations?

5. What valuable lessons can I learn from this experience that will benefit me in the future?

6. Who can I reach out to for support or guidance as I work through this challenge?

7. How can I reframe this situation to see it as an opportunity rather than an obstacle?

8. What steps can I take today to move closer to a future where this challenge no longer holds power over me?

9. What new perspectives or insights have I gained from facing this difficulty?

10. How can I use my experience to inspire or support others who may be going through similar challenges?

You might have your own question to add to this.

Each of these questions is inspired by my core question,

"What is this challenge equipping me to do in the future?" you could add “that I would not be able to do, if I had not gone through what I am going through right now.”

You don’t have to ask the other “support” questions, you can just keep to the core question and use it much like a rudder on a ship, to guide you to a safer harbour.

Framework for Moving Forward:

When faced with overwhelming thoughts and emotions, it's essential to have a framework to guide us back to a mindset of growth and resilience. Here's a simple approach to adopt:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by acknowledging and accepting your emotions without judgment.

Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling without trying to suppress or deny it.

Focusing on the feelings, breaks the thoughts, feelings loop we often get into. This might seem like a trivial point, it’s not, its important and powerful as it taps into how we think.

2. Shift Your Focus: Once you've acknowledged your feelings, gently shift your focus from dwelling on the problem to considering potential solutions and opportunities for growth.

This switches our mindset from “I have got a problem” to “How do I start the first step forwards.”

3. Reframe Your Perspective: Challenge negative thoughts by reframing them in a more positive or constructive light.

Look for lessons to be learned and strengths to be gained from your current situation.

By looking for the positives this current situation is creating, we shift perspective and even more importantly, this is a choice that gives us back control.

4. Take Action: Identify small, actionable steps you can take to move forward, even if they're as simple as reaching out for support or setting aside time for self-care.

Taking one small action, that takes us forward is powerful and a basis to build on with next steps.

Rather than focus thinking on an elaborate plan of how to get out of the current situation, be concerned with just one small step. From that step, then take another one.

5. Celebrate Progress: Finally, celebrate every small victory along the way, recognising that each step forward brings you closer to a brighter future.

Remember, challenges are not roadblocks—they're stepping stones on the path to growth and fulfilment.

By embracing them with a mindset of possibility and resilience, we can unlock our true potential and create a future filled with purpose and meaning.

Wishing you courage, strength, and endless possibilities.

P.S. What challenges are you currently facing, and how do you envision them shaping your future? Share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below!

Summary

When in a storm, you can choose to have a positive mindset, simply by asking yourself.

"What is this challenge equipping me to do in the future?"

You can dive deeper into this with the reflective questions.

A framework I use for moving forwards when in a storm is,

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

2. Shift Your Focus:

3. Reframe Your Perspective:

4. Take Action:

5. Celebrate Progress:

I hope this helps, take care till next week.

See you next week. If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques.

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

If you want to either build a high level or resilience or overcome a past trauma that is holding you back - check out my book.

2. Build self confidence and resilience fast - £48 training course

I have developed my book into a course to help you fully implement the benefits of my book.

3. Work with me 121 - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Lets have an open chat and explore how I can help you and what is troubling you.

If we both think we can work together and I have what you need we can go from there.

Want to explore what else I do? including corporate speaking, coaching and workshops - say hello in an email and let’s explore together.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.