MSS #039 A helping hand to ease anxiety.

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MSS #039: A helping hand to ease anxiety.

7 October 23

MSS #039: How to ease anxiety.

7 October, 2023

Read time: 5.7 minutes

In a hurry? Cut straight to the BREAK THE CYCLE - Do this. chapter. - reduced read time 1.9 minutes.


We all get it, it’s normal.

Many have increased anxiety somehow feeling this is not “normal”. It’s perfectly normal.

One of the many systems from the ancient brains to keep us safe. In the absence of Sabre tooth tigers, our protection systems can find new perceived “threats” to protect us from.

This week learn a little more about the science of what happens. You may be surprised of how you can ease anxiety.

Let’s go for it.

A helping hand to ease anxiety.

Feeling anxious?

Not sure why?

Consider this.

First - Accept it. Simply accept you have anxiety or you get anxiety from time to time.

It’s perfectly normal - stop beating yourself up.

Accepting anxiety is normal and not feeling “guilty” because you have it, takes out some of the added pressure.


What’s Happening? What is it?

Something triggers an emotion.

The brain translates the emotion to a thought.

New thought creates another emotion.

That emotion creates another, related thought.

That thought creates another emotion.

RESULT = continuous reinforcing cycle starts with a physical response like feeling tense, nervous e.t.c.

Often with no idea what started it!


Anxiety = Worrying about worrying, Not knowing what the trigger was.

Sound familiar?

Feel about right?

Getting the picture?



When anxiety strikes.

FOCUS your attention on the physical feelings you have.

If your mind drifts to thinking about the thought.

Gently nudge your attention to what you are feeling.


Let me explain.

Notice where in your body you feel something and what you are feeling.


you feel tension in your arms or neck.

you feel a slight nauseous feeling in your stomach.

You feel a pain in your head.

Your feel a swooshing sensation in your body.


Keep your attention with the feeling.

Just observe it like a curious child.

Simply notice what it feels like.

Is it constant or changing?

Does it stay in the same place or move?

Follow it if it moves.

Keep doing this until the sensation subsides.


If you are comfortable doing so, its even better if you offer in your mind unconditional love to the feeling.


Why does this work?

You break the cycle of,



Thoughts cluster - so focusing on the thought creates more of the same.

Focusing on the physical feeling stops the thoughts - cycle is broken.


Technical explanation

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is our default “setting” - looks for trouble / threats and negativity.

A “threat” triggers the SNS, the Amygdala hits the fight, flight or freeze system chemically.

One of the released chemicals, Cortisol, is detected by the Amygdala - confirming threat still present and the cycle continues.

Focussing on where you sense the associated feelings and what they are, allows stress reduction and calming – the Parasympathetic System manages us back to calmness.

The beauty of this is you don’t need to work out what’s causing the anxiety.


Different perspective

Imagine you had a screaming infant the house.

Clearly they are upset and crying, what would you do?


Version A

You turn the music up on your music system to drown out the screaming.

You keep turning the volume up and switch to a song with more base.

You can still here the screaming, so you close the doors to block the sound out.

You try you best to ignore the screaming hoping it will go away.


Version B

You immediately find the infant.

Your instinct is to cradle them in your arms.

You make soothing sounds.

You reassure them, saying it will all be ok.

You gently sway with them cradled in your arms.

You offer them unconditional love and support, just being there for them.

You might gently stroke their forehead to calm them.

Perhaps a gentle loving hug.


I would hope everyone would choose version B. For the avoidance of doubt please note I am trying to make a point in a dramatic way, so I would never even consider or condone version A.

My point is simple, you would choose version B for a child or infant, in fact any one or any creature. Yet often you behave like version A to yourself!


Quick recap.

  • Anxiety is normal.

  • Accept it as a welcome guest when it happens.

  • Not fighting it starts to help.

  • Now notice where you sense the feeling.

  • Then notice what the feeling is like – steady, pulsating etc

  • Just observe the feeling like a child – no judgment.

  • Just accept the feeling.

  • If you are comfortable to do so, send the feeling love and compassion.

  • Do this until the feeling subsides or stops.

  • You may need to do this a few times if very anxious.

See you next week. If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques.

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 ways I can help you:

1. Build self confidence and resilience fast - £48 training course

Golden Resilience Habit

2. Work with me 121 - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Lets have an open chat and explore how I can help you and what is troubling you.

If we both think we can work together and I have what you need we can go from there.

3. Workshops and Speaking - I run workshops and speak. Book me to help your team increase their productivity.

Nuclear Powered Resilience – learn one golden habit that gives incredible inner strength, comfort and support, that keeps growing by instilling Unconditional Love in your mind.

7 guiding principles to better thinking – what trips up our thinking and how to create different habitual responses.

What they should have taught you at school – awareness of how we think and how to get better results.

Vitamin C for the mind – how to feel and have more control in life, with simple techniques built into a habit.

Happy habits – simple habits to make you feel happier everyday.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.