MSS #036: What are you avoiding that will set you free?

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MSS #036: What are you avoiding that will set you free?

16 September 23

MSS #036: What are you avoiding that will set you free?

16 September, 2023

Read time: 2.5 minutes

In a hurry? Cut straight to the 5 steps to overcome avoidance. chapter. - reduced read time 1.3 minutes.

Its natural.

We all avoid certain things in our life.

Tends to be things we don’t like doing or that make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes for good reason, other times because we have built this “thing” up in our mind as an even bigger, scarier story than it truly is!

The things we avoid not to occupy thinking time and head space, we can keep flipping back to them. The minute we identify them and release them, it’s a bit like clearing out the fridge that we know needs a good tidy but we keep putting off.

Do yourself a favour, notice what you keep avoiding and make some progress towards setting yourself free.

Let’s discover how together.

Let’s talk about avoidance.

What have you avoided for too long?

What are you avoiding today?


You have been avoiding for some time?

· A task you dislike.

· A difficult conversation.

· Showing someone you care.

· A truth that is difficult to face.

· Feedback you would rather not give.

· Telling someone what you really feel.


How much time has been wasted fixating about it?

How much energy has it sapped from battery?

How great would it feel to be released from what you are avoiding?

Most things we avoid, we build into an even bigger event or story in our minds. When you strip it down to the bare facts, it sounds simple?

For example – phoning someone special you fell out with a long time ago.

The act of making a phone call is simple. In the normal course of events, you would simply make the call and say hello and see where it goes.

But this call is much bigger.

· What if they answer.

· What if they don’t answer.

· How will they react to me?

· What if someone else answers?

· What should I say, where to start.

· Should I apologise or hell it was them who upset me.

· What if its an answer phone, they know I have called now.


But its just a phone call, yeah? Somehow its much bigger, so we put if off.

The story, meaning and drama we create around the raw facts is so much bigger.


5 steps to overcome avoidance.

Try this for an approach.


STEP 1 – Choose

Choose something you keep avoiding!

· Saying sorry.

· A difficult task.

· A call you fear.

· A medical issue.

· Forgiving yourself.

· Forgiving someone else.

· Being kinder to yourself.

· Reaching out to someone.



STEP 2 – Acknowledge it in your mind.

Focus your attention on how it makes you feel.

Then focus on where you feel this in your body.

i.e. tension somewhere or a sickly feeling etc



Because by focusing on the FEELING it creates NOT the thought, this reduces the impact it has.

It’s a chemical thing – how the brain works.

Send that feeling loving thoughts – the feeling you have not the thoughts. An important distinction.


STEP 3 – Accept it as true.

Rather than beat yourself up, simply accept, up till now you have avoided it.

Be honest with yourself, without blame.



Accepting something relieves the stress you feel and stops you keep drawing your attention to the problem, rather than the solution.

Acceptance is powerful.

We are accepting that up till now we have avoided this issue. We are not necessarily accepting the issue itself, though you are free to do this.

Accepting we have avoided something, takes away a layer of excuse, so now we can deal with the issue at hand.


STEP 4 - Imagine how it feels once you have completed this task.

Imagine you have done what you keep avoiding.

Feel the relief and elation, how good that feels.

Truly bring the image of completion to mind and sense the feelings.



Helps you get motivated and gets your attention on the solution, rather than fixating on the problem.

Expectation releases Dopamine, which helps with motivation.


STEP 5 - Take one small action towards completion.

If it’s a small task, simply complete it now.

If it’s a bigger project, take one small step towards its completion, then plan the next step AFTER you have completed the first task.



It’s easier to take one small step, gets your mind moving towards completion.

It reduces the scale of the issue in your mind.


Quick recap.

  • Choose something you have avoided.

  • Acknowledge where you feel it and comfort the feeling (not the thought).

  • Accept it as true – that until now you avoided it.

  • Imagine feeling of completion.

  • See you next week. If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques.


Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 ways I can help you:

1. Build self confidence and resilience fast - £48 training course

Golden Resilience Habit

2. Work with me 121 - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Lets have an open chat and explore how I can help you and what is troubling you.

If we both think we can work together and I have what you need we can go from there.

3. Workshops and Speaking - I run workshops and speak. Book me to help your team increase their productivity.

Nuclear Powered Resilience – learn one golden habit that gives incredible inner strength, comfort and support, that keeps growing by instilling Unconditional Love in your mind.

7 guiding principles to better thinking – what trips up our thinking and how to create different habitual responses.

What they should have taught you at school – awareness of how we think and how to get better results.

Vitamin C for the mind – how to feel and have more control in life, with simple techniques built into a habit.

Happy habits – simple habits to make you feel happier everyday.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.