MSS #020: How to identify and eliminate excuses.

MSS #020: Identifying and eliminating excuses

MSS #020: How to identify and eliminate excuses.

27 May, 2023

Read time: 5.7 minutes

In a hurry? Cut straight to the 2 tools read from heading How to uncover your excuses - reduced read time 3 minutes

This week you will learn what excuses look like and what they really are.

Having awareness of the framework for an excuse, you will be more able to challenge them.

By knowing how to assess how factual excuses are, will give you the ability to challenge them.

You will also look for the true root cause.

Most people do not challenge their excuses, they just accept them because they have not thought about what excuses are and their format.

Let’s get into this powerful learning now.

What are excuses?

Excuses are a justification we create for ourselves, for not taking action.

Excuses have a lot of variety, the range and depth of which can be extensive.

Here are some of the most common examples.

• Not enough time – I do not have enough time to do…………

• Not enough money – If I had more money, I could do……….

• Education – I never had a great education, you need qualifications to get that job.

• Too old or too young – I am too old to do that now OR I am not old enough or experienced enough to get that role.

• I cannot change – It is too late for me to change now OR I am not great at change, it will not happen now.

• Afraid to fail – What if I fail, what will people think?

• Not the right time – It is just not the right time now; I have a lot on.

• I need to plan this thoroughly – I need to be certain I can do this with a plan first.

• It will not work – What is the point in trying, it will most likely not work, not sure how good an idea it is anyway.

• I am not inspired – I just do not feel in the moment right now, maybe later in the year.

Key concept

The general format of excuses is,

I cannot do Y until X happens.

In other words I cannot do some task or activity (Y) until something (X) happens first.

Normally (X) is something you deep down do not expect to happen or you think is unlikely to come to fruition. This way you can save face with yourself and others that you may have discussed your desired task (Y) with.

You can blame not taking action on some external force out of your control i.e. (X).

In other words, ‘not my fault gov, it was (X) to blame for me not doing it (Y)’

Some practical examples.

I cannot start my new business until (Y)…………

.…...I have some specific skill (how to make sales calls, how to create a website etc) (X)

…....I have enough finances to invest (X)

……I have enough resources to complete the task (X)

……I have enough time (X)

The repercussions of excuses can be,

• you do not reach your full potential.

• you stop yourself from feeling fulfilled.

• you feel something is missing, there is unfinished business.

•  you do not fully realise your full skills, talents and capabilities.

• you do not grow and develop as a person.

• you are less likely to take on responsibility.

In most cases these excuses are convenient lies for not moving forward. Occasionally there are some practical concerns in there.

Excuses are a form of self-talk, designed to protect you from what you fear, most often change, fear of success or failure or feeling a fool.

The bottom line is you will never have all the right conditions and even if you did, you may not be able to identify the exact perfect conditions anyway.

This is like Newton’s law of motion ‘an object at rest, will stay at rest unless a force is applied to it.” To put it another way, nothing will happen unless you make it happen.

These quotes may help.

“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly”- Robert Schuller

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.”- Peter Marshall

It may help to focus your mind on the outcome you want to achieve, not the steps you need to take. If you focus on the outcome, you will feel more motivated as you feel driven to achieve the outcome rather than looking and concentrating on the effort required.

If the outcome you have set yourself seems somewhat daunting, then focussing on the next step may be a better mind management strategy. As the famous ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said,

 ‘The 1000 mile march starts with the first step’.

You do not fully know where it will take you, but if your plan is to March 1000 miles, you must start somewhere, with the first step, which is in your control. Here is a more modern take on this thought and approach,

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

The biggest benefit you will get from reading this, is being more aware of the excuses you give yourself and possibly others. How excuses are constructed and what they stop you achieving.

This alone will help you challenge your excuses.

What follows are numerous ways to take this further and overcome excuses.

Choose a strategy that best suits you. It is far better to take small steps, get these new habits embedded and then challenge yourself to take it further.

How to uncover your excuses

Recognising and challenging an excuse

Consider something you want to achieve or an action you are making excuses about, but for some reason you are not getting there, bring this to mind.

Then list out on a piece of paper without examination or conscious thought, some of your excuses, that often take the format,

Statement of what you are not doing BECAUSE, [excuse

or reason as to why you are not doing it].

e.g., I cannot start exercising BECAUSE I am too busy.

I will not get fit BECAUSE no one in my family can.

I cannot give presentations BECAUSE I always get nervous.

As you follow this exercise, you will find your excuses are in fact your self-limiting beliefs, the “rules” that hold you back and reduce your confidence.

Grab a piece of paper and right out as many of these excuse statements as you can, for the topic you are considering. Look at each one and firstly see if you can go another level, because often limiting beliefs are layered. Here is an example,

I cannot get fit BECAUSE I do not have time.

 I do not have time BECAUSE I must work long hours.

 I must work long hours BECAUSE by boss expects it.

 My boss expects long hours BECAUSE he/she fired a ‘lazy’ worker.

You get the idea. By going down in layers you start to uncover more limiting beliefs, but also the true root cause for what is holding you back.

Once you have identified the excuses or reasons, split these into two groups, FACTS and BELIEFS. Do this instinctually and with your first thought, your gut instinct.

If it helps give the fact scores out of 100, 0 if there is no factual content to this, 100 is it is 100% a proven fact.

For example

 I do not have time 80

 I must work long hours 60

 My boss expects long hours 60

 She / He fires lazy workers 80

Now use your conscious, rational mind to challenge these reasons.

For example, it appears a fact you do not have time, is this really true? What things could you stop doing to give you more time? What could you do to be more efficient? We can all make time for things we want to do or are important. You might need to compromise on other activities you enjoy.

The key is to really challenge these scores. It might help to enrol someone else you respect to challenge you. If you do not have someone, think of someone you respect, imaginary or real and consider what challenge they would give you over your score.

In this example it all boils down to your boss fired someone for being lazy, how true is this? Have you asked your boss why they fired this person? Was this just your perception and rationalisation of your excuse?

If you find when you do this the facts score is very low, you can start to rationally challenge your excuse. If the fact score is still high enough to stop you taking action, ask yourself what you can do to reduce this score.

The main benefit of this process is that you wrestle the issue from your irrational unconscious mind and examining it with your rational conscious mind.

Challenge and adjust your mindset

Thomas Edison reportedly did thousands of experiments before creating the light bulb filament, his creativity was a result of utter resilience and perseverance.

Many saw his thousands of tests as mistakes or failures before he found the solution. His mindset was very different, seeing each test as a positive.

His frame of reference was it showed him what did not work, therefore getting him closer to what did finally work. His quote sums this up,

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” - Thomas A. Edison

Others have written on this aspect of mindset.

“You have to own your mistakes, otherwise your mistakes own you” - Paulo Coelho 

“The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Do not be afraid to make mistakes providing you do not make the same one twice.” - Theodore Roosevelt 

“Failure is success if we learn from it.”- Malcolm Forbes 

“Mistakes - call them unexpected learning experiences”. - Richard Bach

My favourite quote on this subject is,

  “Mistakes are the portals of discovery” – James Joyce

Having a different mindset is not about avoiding reality it is about how you position yourself in that reality, as there is more than one way to view any situation.

Summary

Quick recap.

• Excuses are simply an approach you use the justify in action on some external event you have no control over.

• Excuses are often layered, you need to examine each layer to get to the true root cause.

• When you identify a true root cause excuse, you are normally revealing a limiting belief about yourself that holds you back.

• Simply being aware of what an excuse looks like, will make you more aware and give you a reason to challenge them.

• You have learnt a way to challenge your excuses by examining the validity of them by scoring how factual they are.

• Finally we looked at what your mind set is towards failure – do you see it as a learning opportunity or a major set back.

Want more? 

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

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Happy thinking.

27 May, 2023