MSS #0156: Leadership Isn’t Heavy – You’re Just Carrying the Wrong Things

3 Jan, 2026

🕒Read time: 3.1 minutes
🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “The 3 Bucket Sort” for a reduced reading time of 1.7 minutes

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Ever feel like leadership is a bit heavier than it should be?

Like you’re carrying more than just your own job?

Some days it feels like the weight isn't just in your diary or to-do list.

It’s in your mind, your gut, your shoulders.

The stuff no one sees.

A mix of people’s emotions, pressures, things left unsaid, unsolvable puzzles.

It all clings on.

This week, I want to share a mental sorting technique.

Something simple I’ve found incredibly useful myself and others find a relief to hear.

It’s called the 3 Bucket Sort.

Let’s go.

Not Everything You're Carrying Belongs to You

Let me guess.

You take your role seriously.

You care about people.

You want things to go well.

So, you end up picking things up that were never really yours to carry.

You take ownership of other people’s bad moods.
You feel guilty when someone else drops a ball.
You lose sleep over things you can’t fix.

Sound familiar?

This is emotional overload, not leadership.

Here’s what helps.

The 3 Bucket Sort

Imagine you’ve got three mental buckets in front of you.

Now, grab a pen or run a list in your head.

Everything on your plate, pop it into one of these buckets.

It works like this:

🪣 Bucket 1: Mine to Solve
This is yours. Fully.
No doubt about it.
It sits within your control, your role, your remit.

• Something only you can act on

• A decision you’re responsible for

• A conversation you need to have

You might not want it – but it’s yours.

👉 Ask yourself: “Do I need to act, decide, or follow through?”

🪣 Bucket 2: Not Mine, But I Feel Responsible
Ah. This one’s sneaky.
You feel tugged, guilty, or obligated.
But it’s not actually yours to fix.

You’ve blurred emotional concern with practical ownership.

• Tasks others should be learning to handle

• Problems that belong to someone else’s role

• Issues you’ve stepped into out of habit, not necessity

This bucket is the heaviest – and the most freeing when you let it go.

👉 Ask yourself:
“Am I carrying this because I care, or because I should?”
“If I step back, could someone else grow from this?”

🪣 Bucket 3: Can Be Shared
This is the team sport bucket.
Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you need to carry it alone.

These are:

• Things you can co-create

• Decisions better made with input

• Work you can delegate to develop others

Use this bucket to stop hoarding tasks and start creating space.

👉 Ask yourself: “Who else could help lighten this?”

Then go further:

• Who is the best person to handle this? (Could even be someone you outsource to)

• Who will learn the most from taking this on?

• What part of this truly requires me – and what doesn’t?

When You Start Sorting, Something Shifts

I’ve had clients do this in real-time, live on a coaching call.

A scribbled list.
Three circles.
Buckets drawn.
Sorted in silence.

Within 10 minutes, their energy shifts.

Because now:

• They’re not overwhelmed

• They’re not carrying guilt they shouldn’t

• They’re back in control

Try it.

Today.

Write it down if you can.

You’ll be surprised what ends up in bucket 2.

You’ll be relieved at what you can move into bucket 3.

And you’ll feel clearer about what’s genuinely yours in bucket 1.

Let the rest go.

You can still care, without carrying it.

Summary

Leadership doesn’t have to feel like you’re dragging a caravan uphill.

Often it’s not the work that’s heavy, it’s the emotional load you’ve taken on without realising.

Sorting the load brings clarity, energy and space to lead well.

• Bucket 1 = Mine to solve

• Bucket 2 = Not mine, but I’ve absorbed it

• Bucket 3 = Can be shared – and should be

You don’t have to carry it all.

Just what’s yours.

And even then, not always alone.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.