MSS #0153: When Thinking Positive Fails – Try the CAR Method Instead

MSS #0153: When Thinking Positive Fails – Try the CAR Method Instead

📅 Date: 13 Dec, 2025

🕒Read time: 3.2 minutes

Read time: 3.2 minutes
🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “The CAR Method: 3 Steps to Reset Your Response” for a reduced reading time of 1.7 minutes.

Sometimes your thoughts aren't the problem.

They’re just the surface foam on a deeper emotional storm.

This week we’re unpacking what to do when positive thinking, affirmations or mindset shifts don’t seem to work.

It’s quite a normal situation to find yourself in.

Your nervous system is just doing its job – and it’s doing it loudly.

This newsletter introduces the CAR Method – a 3-step approach that helps you shift from panic or pressure into calm, clear presence.

Why “Think Positive” Often Doesn’t Work

Positive thinking is helpful – but not always accessible.

Especially when:

• Your body is flushed with adrenaline

• Your brain is scanning for threat

• Your thoughts are stuck on repeat

This is because your nervous system is built for survival, not serenity.

It doesn’t speak the language of logic.
It speaks the language of safety.

Before you try to change your thinking, you have to let your system know you’re safe.

Enter: The CAR Method.
Your tool to reset when “mind over matter” isn’t cutting it.

The CAR Method: 3 Steps to Reset Your Response

This method shifts you through three layers:

1. Calm the Chemistry

2. Acknowledge What’s Present

3. Rewire the Pattern

Each stage moves you closer to grounded clarity – where genuine confidence lives.

C — Calm the Chemistry

When you're stressed, you can’t think clearly.
You’re not supposed to.

You have to downshift the nervous system before your rational mind can come online.

Here’s how:

• Move something – anything
  Shake your hands. Squeeze a stress ball. Tap your heels.
  These small movements “burn off” adrenaline.

• Sigh 3 times
  A long exhale tells your body: “We’re safe now.”
  Bonus: Add a gentle hum on the last breath to soothe your vagus nerve.

• Survey the space
  Name 5 objects you can see and 2 details about each.
  This grounds you in your environment instead of your thoughts.

• Soothe with self-touch
  Gently rub the tops of your arms from shoulder to elbow.
  Stroke your palms together or lightly touch your face.
  These actions activate your brain’s safety circuits – quietly letting your system know it’s okay to relax.

When your system calms your thinking clears.

A — Acknowledge What’s Present

This is not about fixing your feelings.
It’s about meeting them.

You can’t outrun a pattern you haven’t recognised.

Try these:

• Use scientist language
  Say: “I notice tension in my stomach.”
  Or: “I observe my jaw tightening.”
  This creates distance from the drama. You’re the observer now.

• Park the thought
  When your mind grabs onto a worry, imagine writing it on a sticky note.
  Mentally place it on a “Later Board”.
  You’re not avoiding the issue – just choosing not to spiral.
  You’ll come back to it with more clarity.

• Shift the inner voice
  Instead of “I can’t cope with this,” try:
  “Right now the priority is…”
  Or: “This situation asks for calm – and I can bring that.”

Naming what’s happening gives you authority over it.

R — Rewire the Pattern

Once you’re calmer and clearer, it’s time to go deeper.
This is where change becomes lasting.

• Track the emotional loop
  What theme keeps showing up?
  Rejection? Guilt? Control? Abandonment?
  Give it a name. Patterns that are named can be changed.

• Trace it back
  When did you first feel this way?
  Was it childhood? School? An early failure?
  Understanding the origin unlocks the story.

• Visualise your new response
  Picture a version of you who no longer reacts the same way.
  Imagine how they move, speak and handle challenges.
  Rehearse this version daily – until it becomes your real response.

• Ask a better question
  Try this:
  “If I didn’t carry this today, what would feel different?”
  Let the answer arrive without pressure.
  Let your system explore who you are without the weight.

The nervous system doesn’t shift through logic.
It shifts through repetition, emotion and embodiment.

Summary

You don’t need more motivation.
You need a method that works with how your brain and body are wired.

The CAR Method helps you get unstuck, not by pushing harder but by pivoting smarter.

The next time your brain won’t quiet down, don’t fight the noise.
Drive it through Calm, Acknowledge, Rewire.

You’ll be surprised where you end up.

🔁 Recap — The CAR Method

• C – Calm the Chemistry
  Move your body, sigh it out, ground in the room, soothe with touch

• A – Acknowledge What’s Present
  Label sensations, park the thought, speak like a scientist

• R – Rewire the Pattern
  Name the loop, trace the root, visualise and rehearse a new response

Let me know which step you’ll practise first.
And if you’d like tools to build that calmer version of yourself – reach out.

See you next week. One more thought 👇

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Other resources

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.