MSS #0131: When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough – How to Handle the Weight of Perfectionism

MSS #0131: When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough – How to Handle the Weight of Perfectionism

12 July, 2025

🕒Read time: 2.7 minutes.

🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “The 4Rs to Free Yourself from Perfection Pressure” for a reduced reading time of 1.5 minutes.

You work hard.
You care deeply.
You give everything you’ve got.
And sometimes, it still doesn’t feel like enough.

This newsletter is for the days when your “best” doesn’t feel like it measured up — not to others, but to your own internal expectations.

Let’s explore how to release perfectionism’s grip, without letting go of your values.

The Trap of “Doing Your Best”

The trap of “doing your best” is that it often evolves into “doing it perfectly.”

Somewhere along the way, the meaning of “your best” was hijacked — no longer meaning “you gave what you could today,” but instead “you gave everything and left no flaws.”

That’s not sustainable.
And it’s not necessary.

The 4Rs to Free Yourself from Perfection Pressure

🕑 (Start here for a 1.5-minute read time)

Use these four steps to shift from pressure to progress — from analysis to purpose.

1. Recognise the Pattern

You can’t shift what you can’t see.

Perfectionism often doesn’t announce itself.
It wears the mask of “high standards” or “just being thorough.”

But underneath, it’s usually driven by fear: fear of criticism, rejection, or not being enough.

Ask yourself:
• What am I afraid will happen if this isn’t perfect?
• Whose expectations am I trying to meet?
• Am I chasing accuracy, or approval?

These questions are not necessarily meant to provide answers.
They’re simply a lens — a quiet signal that perfectionism is in play.
Even the act of noticing softens its grip.

2. Reframe What “Best” Means

You don’t need to lower your standards.
But you may need to define them more humanely and clearly.

Try these reframes:

• “Excellence includes rest.”

• “Finishing matters more than flawless.”

• “There’s a difference between good work and overworking.”

• “This doesn’t have to impress everyone — it just needs to do its job.”
  “My best doesn’t mean perfect — it means honest, considered, and enough for today.”
  “Every step forward counts, even if it’s not the ideal version.”

• “Being consistent matters more than being exceptional.”

• “Letting go is part of the process.”

• “My 80% is still useful.”

When you replace “perfect” with “purposeful,” you create space for trust, relief, and momentum.

Choose one of these reframes or create your own.

Let this become your mantra.

Anytime you become aware (step 1) of perfectionism taking a grip, recite your mantra in your head, soon this becomes your new neural pathway belief - replacing the old unhelpful one.

3. Release the Binary

Perfectionism creates a false choice: it’s either exceptional or it’s failure.
No middle ground.

This binary mindset breeds fear, procrastination and sometimes burnout.

Instead, ask:
• “What level of detail is appropriate for this task?”
• “Does this need to be an A+, or is B- good enough here?”
• “What does ‘done’ realistically look like for this context?”

The goal isn’t to lower effort, but to match your effort to the moment.

Use the “sliding scale” model:
Some work deserves 100%.
Some is fine at 60%.
Knowing the difference is emotional intelligence in action.

Make a conscious choice, don’t allow your mind to drift into a default 100%.

4. Restore Your Energy

Perfectionists often run hot: over-functioning, over-delivering, over-extending.

You might look calm on the surface, but underneath you’re worn thin.

This step is about replenishment — not because you’re failing, but because you’re valuable.

Ways to restore:
• Take a break before you're empty, not after
• Celebrate completing, not just perfecting
• Say out loud: “I did what I could today, and that is enough.”
• Practice self-kindness without conditions

You don’t have to earn rest by reaching flawlessness.
Rest is not indulgent.
It’s intelligent.

A Few Good Quotes to Keep in Your Pocket

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” — Voltaire
“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” — Confucius
“Done is better than perfect.” — Sheryl Sandberg
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” — Anne Lamott
“Sometimes ‘good enough’ really is good enough.” — Unknown

These aren’t just quotes.
They’re permission slips.
Permission to stop measuring your worth by your polish.
Permission to trust your effort, not your edits.

Summary

Perfectionism won’t stop demanding more.
But you can stop obeying it.

Your best does not need to be flawless.
It needs to be present, considered, and sustainable.

Start by recognising when you’re spiralling.
Reframe your definition of success.
Match your effort to the task.
Refuel before your tank is dry.

Then exhale.
You’re doing enough.

Quick Recap

• “Not good enough” is often a perfectionist illusion
• Step back using the 4Rs:
 – Recognise the pattern (with gentle awareness)
 – Reframe “best” to include humanity
 – Release the binary and assess effort level
 – Restore your energy — you matter too
• Let good enough be enough — because it is

See you next week. One more thought 👇

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Other resources

If you haven't already, follow me on LinkedIn and hit the bell for daily posts on tips, insights and techniques or take a look at my website.

Want to explore what else I do? Including corporate speaking, coaching and workshops, or simply ask me a question or give me feedback on my newsletter - say hello in an email.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.