MSS #0130: When Did You Last Say Something Kind to Yourself? (And What Are You Missing If You Don’t 👀)

MSS #0130: When Did You Last Say Something Kind to Yourself? (And What Are You Missing If You Don’t)

5 July, 2025

🕒Read time: 3.2 minutes

🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “10 Powerful Self-Kindness Phrases” for a reduced reading time of 1.0 minutes.

Most people can’t remember the last time they said something kind to themselves.

Not “nice” — kind. There’s a difference.
Nice is surface-level. Kind is honest, rooted and real.

And if you can’t remember the last kind word you offered yourself, you're not alone. But that silence? It isn’t harmless. You are missing an opportunity.
Your brain is always listening.

Every critical comment, every whispered “I should’ve done better” and every time you ignore your needs — it adds up.

That repeated internal messaging quietly shapes:
→ Your mood
→ Your confidence
→ Your choices

It sets your emotional tone without you realising.

The good news? You can flip the script. And it only does not take long to embed.

The Cost of Unkind Silence

We speak to ourselves all day long — even when we don’t realise it.

The tone of that self-talk becomes our default setting.

That voice could sound like this:

• “Why do you always mess this up?”

• “Everyone else seems to manage.”

• “You should be further along by now.”

If you never say anything kind, your brain assumes this is normal.

It adjusts your baseline accordingly.

Unkind repetition becomes identity.
But kind repetition? That becomes transformation.

Transporting your mind to something reassuring.

Try This: The Self-Kindness Tracker (7-Day Reset)

This isn’t a mindset trick.

It’s a daily pattern interrupt.

Here’s how:

📄 Grab a sheet of paper
📅 Draw 7 boxes — one for each day this week
🌙 Each night, ask:
“Did I say something kind to myself today?”

Then:
✅ Tick the box if yes
❌ Cross it if no
🔢 More than once? Note how many kind comments.

That’s it. No journalling. No overthinking. Just track the kindness.

This act of noticing builds a new pattern.

You’re rewiring your brain to expect respect from within.

Why It Works

• 🔁 Repetition reshapes neural pathways

• 🧠 Your inner voice recalibrates to support, not sabotage

• 🌱 You raise the standard of how you speak to yourself

• 👀 You start to expect better — from yourself and others

Within days, many feel a shift.

Mood lifts.

Decisions feel easier.

Self-respect starts to take root.

10 Powerful Self-Kindness Phrases

If you're not sure what to say, try one of these.
They're gentle, honest, and don’t require fake positivity.

1. “I did my best with what I knew today.”

2. “It’s okay to feel this way — I’m still moving forward.”

3. “I’m proud of myself for showing up.”

4. “I’m allowed to make mistakes — that’s how I learn.”

5. “I handled that better than I would have a year ago.”

6. “I’m not behind — I’m on my own timeline.”

7. “This challenge won’t last, but I will.”

8. “I’ve figured out hard things before. I can do it again.”

9. “I don’t have to earn rest — I’m allowed to recharge.”

10.“I’m learning to be on my own side.”

Start with the one that resonates, feels right or you can see yourself doing.

Whisper it, write it, think it.

Let it become part of how you relate to yourself.

Summary

Self-kindness isn’t fluff — it’s function.
It recalibrates how you think, how you feel, and how you live.

All it takes to start is a tick box. Seven days. One sentence a day.

Then keep it going. Make it part of your routine, the natural thing you do.

Quick Recap
• Your self-talk is constant — and often less than kind
• Repeated messaging (even silent) rewires your emotional baseline
• Use the 7-day Self-Kindness Tracker to build a better inner script
• Try one of 10 self-kindness phrases — no pressure, just awareness
• Mood, motivation, confidence and choices all start to shift

Which one are you going to try this week?

I’d love to hear what changes for you.

See you next Saturday.

One more thought 👇

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1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.