MSS #0124: What If Feeling More in Control Took Just 4 Words a Day?

MSS #0124: What If Feeling More in Control Took Just 4 Words a Day?

24 May, 2025

🕒Read time: 2.4 minutes

🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “Your Micro-Choice Habit Loop” for a reduced reading time of 1.0 minutes.

Control.

The perceived presence or lack of control.

This is often the biggest factor in how we feel in the moment.

In the moments or periods in our life’s that we sense with have little or no control, we often notice stress.

At the times we think we are largely or reasonably in control, stress is nearly always absent.

But what if the shift back to feeling in control didn’t need a reset, plan, or break — just four words repeated once a day?

Why We Feel Powerless (And How to Interrupt It)

How much we think, feel or perceive we are in control is directly related to our sense of having options, possibilities.

Choice.

When we understand we have choices we feel in control. As opposed to the phrase or mantra,

 “I had no choice”.

This results in complete closure of control.

Often it has nothing to do with reality, simply our perception. Often fuelled by what we tell ourselves or someone else, we trust or respect, tells us.

The solution?

Start feeding your brain a different message — one that keeps choice front and centre.

It doesn’t take a big plan. It takes four words: “I choose to…XYZ”

Repeated often.

Why “I choose…” Works So Well

Micro-choices are small, fast actions that tell your brain, “We’re not stuck.”

These might seem insignificant — but the repetition trains your brain to start noticing options, which changes everything.

The more choices you think you have, the more choices your mind starts looking for, I shared way back in my newsletters how this works.

Here’s examples of the 4 word phrases in real life:

• “I choose to pause.”

• “I choose calm.”

• “I choose not yet.”

• “I choose movement.”

• “I choose to smile.”

• “I choose to laugh.”

• “I choose to happy.”

Tiny moments, massive shift.

They give your mind proof that you still get to decide something — even when everything else feels messy.

Take the most mundane acts, that you would probably do anyway and claim responsibility for the choice.

For example, the simple act of opening the car door. In your mind say “I choose to open this door.”

Taking a break from working, actively say in your mind “I choose a break right now.”

It might seem silly, but it’s not.

You are training your brain to notice the simplest of choices.

You are training your brain to be aware of an abundance of choices in any situation.

So when you might otherwise feel stuck, your brain has now been trained to notice and search for options for you.

The more choices you have, the more in control you feel.

Your Micro-Choice Habit Loop

To make this work, don’t just wait for the “right moment”. Set up a simple loop:

1. Choose a Trigger
Link your micro-choice to something that already happens — opening your laptop, brushing your teeth, waiting for the kettle.
Example: When I hear a notification ping, I choose to breathe instead of respond.

2. Say the Words
Always begin with “I choose…”
This creates a clear cognitive pattern — it reinforces the act of decision, which fuels the perception of control.

This creates a strong neural “choices” pathway.

Build the Loop, Shift the Feeling

The goal isn’t to control everything.

It’s to get back to a mental space where your brain sees more doors than walls. “I choose…” is the first door.

Summary

Feeling in control doesn’t start with changing your environment — it starts with changing what your brain sees. A single micro-choice sends a signal that options still exist. And the more you notice them, the more in-control you feel.

• Perception of choice is what makes us feel in control

• “I choose…” is a fast, clear signal to your brain

• Link this to a daily trigger for consistency

• Over time, you’ll notice more options — and feel more grounded

So, what will your three words be today?
I choose… _____ 

See you next week. One more thought 👇

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.