MSS #0122: Stop Ruining Your Day Before It Starts – Upgrade Your Inner Questions

10 May, 2025

🕒Read time: 3.0 minutes

🚀 In a hurry? Jump to “Questions That Charge You vs. Drain You” for a reduced reading time of 1.4 minutes.

Many start the day asking themselves the wrong thing.
“Can I do this?”

“Why do I feel like this?”

“Will I mess this up?”

These aren’t just idle questions — they silently sabotage your mindset before you even brush your teeth.

This week’s newsletter is short, practical and potentially powerful.

Learn to identify and shift your internal questions and you’ll unlock a surprisingly simple lever for boosting your energy, motivation and self-confidence.

The Prevalence of Negative Self-Talk
Research indicates that the average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, with up to 80% of these being negative.

This highlights how pervasive negative self-talk can be, often operating unnoticed yet significantly impacting our mental well-being.

Out minds are flooded with thoughts, upping the ration of positive to negative thoughts has a big impact.

What Question Are You Starting With?
Every morning, you ask yourself something.
Even if you’re not aware of it.

It might be subtle.
It might even sound reasonable.
But the kind of question matters.

Your mind is like a battery — the questions you feed it either charge it up or slowly drain it flat.

Consider this:
You don’t need to add anything to your morning routine.

You don’t need another habit stack.

You just need to change your inner dialogue.

Let me show you how.

The Two Types of Questions

There are only two kinds of internal questions.

• Those that CHARGE you: energising, expansive, motivating

• And those that DRAIN you: shrinking, critical, exhausting

The trick?
You get to choose which ones you feed.

Let’s break them down.

Questions That Charge You vs. Drain You

🟢 Questions That CHARGE You:

• What small step can I take towards my biggest goal today?

• Who can I help with my experience or skills?

• What am I most excited about right now?

• How can I use my strengths today?

• What can I learn from that mistake?

• What progress did I make today?

• What new thing can I learn?

• Who did I support today?

These fuel self-worth, spark energy and direct your focus forward.

🔴 Questions That DRAIN You:

• Am I good enough?

• Why is this so hard for me?

• Why did I mess this up (again)?

• What will everyone think of me?

• Is there something wrong with me?

• What sort of person lets this happen?

These sound innocent — even introspective — but they erode confidence and trap you in self-doubt.

Think of this like water.

Water has the power to cut through rocks and change the direction of rivers over time, simply with the constant power of water. Our thoughts are like this, choosing charging thoughts diverts your mental river in a better direction.

Extending the Practice to Your Team
The nature of questions we pose doesn't only affect us individually but also influences our team dynamics.

Encouraging a culture of empowering questions within a team can lead to enhanced collaboration, innovation and morale.

Empowering Questions for Teams:

• What strengths do we bring collectively to this project?

• How can we support each other to achieve our common goals?

• What have we learned from our recent challenges?

• How can we improve our communication to be more effective?

• Who can we collaborate with to enhance our outcomes?

Disempowering Questions to Avoid:

• Why do we always miss our targets?

• Who is to blame for this mistake?

• Why can't we be like [another team]?

• What's wrong with our approach?

• Will we ever get this right?

By fostering an environment where empowering questions are the norm, teams can shift from a blame culture to one of collective growth and resilience.

The 3-Step Practice: Notice. Pause. Pivot.

You don’t have to overhaul your whole mindset.
You just need to do this simple loop:

1. Notice – Become aware of the question running in your head.

2. Pause – Don’t answer it immediately. Ask: is this helpful or harmful?

3. Pivot – Swap it. Upgrade it. Shift it to a better, more useful one.

For example:

• From: “Why do I always fail at this?”

• To: “What can I learn here to succeed next time?”

Or:

• From: “Am I good enough?”

• To: “How can I use what I do have today?”

Ask better questions — and your brain will start finding better answers.

Want a Challenge?
Try this:

• 💬 Share one empowering question you now ask yourself

• 🧨 Or bravely share one draining question you’re letting go of

Write it down. Keep it visible. Remind your brain who’s in charge.

Because one better question can genuinely change everything.

Summary
The questions you ask yourself aren’t harmless — they’re powerful. Each one has the potential to either charge your mindset or quietly drain it.

Upgrade just one of your default questions and you can lift your energy, sharpen your confidence and steer your day in a totally new direction.

Key takeaways:

• Your mind is like a battery — the quality of your questions determines its charge

• Empowering questions lift energy, mood and motivation

• Draining questions often sound familiar but erode confidence

• Use the simple formula: Notice → Pause → Pivot

• Extending empowering questions to team interactions fosters a positive and collaborative work environment

• One better question, asked consistently, can rewire your thinking

See you next week. One more thought 👇

Want more? 

When you're ready, 3 more ways I can help you:

1. My book - Nuclear Powered Resilience

2. Self confidence and resilience - £48 training course based on my book

3. Coaching packages - start with a FREE 15 minutes exploration session.

Other resources

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That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, really hope this helped. Contact me if you think I can help you further at [email protected].

Happy thinking.